February 05, 2024

21 Things Lesbians Just Can’t Hear Anymore

1. You probably haven’t met the right man yet

Yes, and I bet that’s you. Go away.

2. How do you know you’re a lesbian if you haven’t been with a guy?

How do you know you’re heterosexual if you haven’t been with a person of your own gender?

3. You’re a lesbian?! But you’re so feminine!

My gender performance has nothing to do with my sexual orientations, thank you very much!

4. How come you’re attracted to butch women? They’re practically men!

Because they’re damn HOT! That’s why.

5. So which one of you is the man and which is the woman?

Mmmmmm… This is a lesbian relationship, only women here.

6. Can I join in???

Hell no!

7. So can I watch?

We said NO! We are not entertainment, we are two people in love! Goodbye.

8. Wanna hang and check out girls together!

No. Just because you hit on me and didn’t get your way, does not mean we’re going to best buds instead.

9. So, how do lesbians have sex?


10. So you’ve never been with a guy?

So have you ever minded your own damn business????

11. Are you sisters?

HAHAHA! No, that would be wrong!

12. What, you’re a lesbian?! Does that mean you’re attracted to me? ‘Cause I’m straight!

Gurlll… Calm down! I’m not attracted to ALL women, and with that attitude, especially not to you.

13. Do you hate men?

No, but I really dislike stupid people.

14. I like girls too, I guess that makes me a lesbian! HAHAHA…


15. I bet you really like Ellen

Yes, and I bet you really like… Well, heterosexual celebrities…

16. My girlfriend and I are looking for another girl to get with, wanna join?

No, but your girlfriend sounds somewhat dissatisfied. Have her call me, K?

17. How do you know when to stop?

Never, unlike you, we can go all night…

18. Are you sure this lesbian thing isn’t just a phase?

Are you sure that heterosexuality thing is not a phase?

19. Is your life really like the “L Word”?!

Why, is your life really the “OC”?

20. I wish I was a lesbian, but guys are so hot though…

I wish I was an astronaut but the ground feels so safe though…

21. I bet lesbian sex is really delicate and nice

If I’ll hear another word from you I’m gonna tie you to a chair and smack you!